Holy Guacamole

You know the story. Girl sends boy to the store with a list. Boy comes homes with everything written on the list plus an abundance of crap that the girl didn’t request. Girl beats boy over the head. It’s an old tale of most married couples. My spouse went to Costco yesterday with a specific list. Sure, I am fine with the occasional deviation, but seriously, yesterday was a bit over the top.

I normally help unload and situate the items purchased, but yesterday I didn’t participate. There wasn’t much on the list, so I checked out and continued reading my book. Yes, there was the passive-aggressive comment by my spouse, “Don’t worry. I will unload everything myself”. To which I responded, “Okay. Sounds good” because he was acting like a little diva. But, I wasn’t prepared for the abundance of produce that he purchased. You see, apparently, my hubby is going to make guacamole. I bet you are thinking how incredibly lucky I am and what a catch he is. Well, I am lucky and he is a catch, but the issue at hand is his lack of knowledge making guacamole.

He has been making homemade salsa for most of the pandemic. (Notice that the word pandemic seems to illustrate how long this has been happening versus saying three months. It’s a whole new world when illustrating a time table.) Anyway, he got the recipe from his Dad and has been obsessed with recreating it. Yay! After his passive-aggressive statement, he informed me of the additional things he bought. Adding that I can use the limes for my adult beverage. This would be sweet if he actually knew what I used. It’s an orange, so my irritation is heightened. Oh, wait, he got oranges too. Anyway, he apparently didn’t research picking out the ideal avocado or really anything else for that matter. When I walked into the kitchen, my counter was littered with oranges, limes, and then he put the avocados in a bowl with the bananas. It probably doesn’t matter, but I moved the avocados into their own bowl, and transferred the oranges into a the bowl with the bananas. My quick action resulted in a more visually appealing display. It also made me twitchy to see those avocados getting cozy with the bananas.

Look, I am thrilled my spouse wants to try and make some delicious guacamole, but maybe not buy the ingredients at Costco. Start small. But, that isn’t how my sweet hubby operates. So, more will be revealed. I suppose this the price I pay for sending him to a store with unlimited options. Holy guacamole.

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