This girl – right here- is not a fan of confrontation. Oh, sure, I talk a big game, but the reality is that it brings me tremendous anxiety to take the action. My heart beats faster. I get nauseous. My voice does weird things. Confronting my family is one things, but outside of that realm, it is a hard pass.
The issue at hand was simply regarding a job not being completed. And when I say, not completed, I mean the attempt was solid but the execution fizzled. I had been putting it off by rationalizing that it isn’t that bad and maybe it will improve. Sadly, denial caught up with me as I realized how dire the situation had become.
I took the bull by the horns and carted the culprit to the curb. No conversation really needed. It was obvious that this entity was being released from their duties. The freedom of putting that vacuum out for trash pickup was invigorating. I knew the truth. I knew that pet hair was being left behind. My rugs had lost their luster, and I avoided interacting with it because it made me angry. I was free at last. Free to purchase a new vacuum that won’t abandon their duties.
Yesterday, my new friend arrived. It is shiny and ready to tackle the job at hand. I was excited. Normally, vacuuming doesn’t warrant that response, but I was overwhelmed with anticipation. Once Bryce assembled it for me, I got busy. Of course, I put on my glasses, because that was part of my issue. If I couldn’t see the problem, then it wasn’t there. I call it denial problem solving. Super effective until the pet hair morphs into large tumble weeds and they mow you down on the way to the bathroom. At that point, it is difficult to ignore.
My new friend is quiet too. That’s cool. We don’t need to bond. I am just looking for someone to actually complete the job. Anyway, area rugs exhaled as they were apparently suffocating under the weight of hair. My floors shined with glee as the vacuum danced over them. The canister was full by the time I finished and I had to come to terms with my tremendous shame that I had dismissed the issue for far too long. I must forgive myself as I am only human. Perfectly imperfect.